


losing you to myself.

by yae



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Father Figures, Father-Son Relationship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2020-09-25 07:07:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20372707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yae/pseuds/yae
Summary: spero’a fears his inner demons first taking away what he loves... then his body.





	1. the nightmare.

Spero’a opened his eyes to find himself shrouded in unwavering darkness. It swirled like an abyss around his entire being, down to his very soul. He clutched his chest, gasping in pain as it clawed his heart, wrenching its claws inside. It wanted control. It wanted him. That was okay, though... He could fight it. With Caelum to help him, he—

”C-...Caelum...”

He gasped for help.

“Spero’a.”

He looked up to find said man, smiling and seemingly summoned by his plea. Spero’a weakly smiled back at Caelum yet quickly grimaced in pain. His head was a mess, swimming through pitch he couldn’t navigate. He flinched when Caelum placed his own hand on his chest, but immediately his heart began to feel lighter. Both removed their hands, Spero’a examining himself in surprise. Caelum truly was his savior in all of this...

Spero’a looked up with a proper smile to thank Caelum. Only... said man was no longer there. Spero’a looked around, twirling entirely yet finding no trace of his friend. He had appeared then disappeared miraculously. When had he gotten so fast...? No, that wasn’t what he should question... Where were they? What was this? Spero’a took a hesitant step forward. His foot landed solidly, despite there being no apparent ground. He then hesitated again. Something wasn’t right. Slowly, he raised an arm up and reached out. Empty space, like he was in a room...

Until he felt something grab his arm.

He cried out in shock, yanking his arm back but pulling whatever was holding him along, too. He closed his eyes, expecting to be attacked, only to hear another familiar voice calling his name. Familiar... but different.

‘...Spe...ro’...a... ‘

He tried to keep his eyes closed, terrified to look. Yet he couldn’t help wanting to see, wanting to know. It was Caelum, wasn’t it...? Just Caelum... Just...  
Spero’a slowly opened his eyes, crying out again at the sight of his friend.

Darkness surrounding him, waving in thin ribbons while his physical form wobbled in an unstable manor. His hands absorbed Spero’a’s arm, slowly becoming a vice grip he couldn’t even hope to escape from. Caelum’s long hair began to melt, molding into his shoulders while his face transfigured as his mouth opened to wail.

‘ why... spero’..a... y...ou... did th..is... s..o... cold...spe...ro’a... it...hurtsss... the.. dark...ness... ‘

Spero’a began to cry, trying desperately to get Caelum to let go. His slimy hold still did not budge. He pulled and pulled, taking steps back only for Caelum to sludge forward.

‘ ...sp..ero’...a... h..elp m...eee... you... did..n’t... stop it... ‘

The miqo’te screamed and started to sob fully as Caelum’s entire being began to turn black like the pitch in his head. His mouth still contorting to beg yet curse Spero’a.

‘ y..ou... ma...de me.. li..ke this... da..rkn..ess... all ar...oun...d... hurts... hur...ts.. spero’aaa... wh...y...? ‘

“No, no...! I didn’t— No— Caelum, I didn’t m-mean... I’m so sorry, please— let go— C-Caelum—!” Spero’a shook his head, still trying to escape.

‘ WHY...?! ‘

Caelum roared, his form shaping to tower over Spero’a before spilling and sinking to the floor. His grip slowly loosened until Spero’a fell backwards, scrambling away. Yet he soon quickly crawled forward as Caelum began to melt away into nothing.

‘ a...h... sp..errrr...ooo’aaaa... ‘

He gave a long, drawn-out moan until his melted face and body were only a puddle, that Spero’a sunk his hands into. He tried to grab, hold onto something of Caelum that still had a form. He still sobbed, fishing for nothing until he pulled his hands away, the sludge of Caelum dripping through his fingers before dissipating into thin air.

“No... No, no... no, no, no, no, NO!!” Spero’a screamed, his hands shaking once all of Caelum had gone. “Caelum... Caelum...!

CAELUM...!!!”


	2. the awakening.

“CAELUM...!!!”

Spero’a screamed, eyes firmly shut and body unmoving. Tears squeezed out as he tried to will himself to move but his body wouldn’t cooperate. Was he still in the dream? With his eyes shut, he was forever in darkness. He whimpered and trembled until he hear the door to his room open like it was being kicked in. Then, he must be awake—?

“Spero’a! I’m here, what’s wrong?!” Caelum said sharply, only for Spero’a to merely cry harder. Caelum hurried to his bedside, wrapping his arms around the miqo’te without much though. Instantly, the tension melted from Spero’a’s body and he let out a gasp, his eyes snapping open.

“C-..Caelum...” He whispered weakly, fearfully looking up at the man.

“Shhh... I’m here, Spero’a, I’m here... Another nightmare ruining your sleep...?”

A faint nod. “I d-drea— dreamed y-you... you...” Cut off by a sharp inhale and another sob.

“You don’t need to say anything, Spero’a... Just relax... I’m here now. I’m okay. You’re okay... you’re okay.” He began to lightly rock back and forth, trying to soothe the frightened Spero’a in his arms. Spero’a could only meekly grab at Caelum’s clothes, pulling him closer and returning the hold. He wept into the man’s shirt, shaking and shivering, which Caelum tried to put an end to by rubbing his back.

“It’s alright, Spero’a... Deep breaths. Breathe... You are awake now, you’re awake...”

Still rocking Spero’a in his arms, Caelum swished his tail before opening his mouth to softly sing...

[ Stand tall, my friend.  
May all of the Dark lost inside you find Light again... ]

Caelum momentarily placed his hand on Spero’a’s chest. Here, the dark lost inside of him. The man flinched, remembering his dream, yet didn’t stop Caelum.

[ In time...  
Time whirling, turning, we make amends... ]

The long-haired miqo’te nuzzled his face against Spero’a’s head, his eyes closing as he continued...

[ Eternal winds to the land descend,  
our journey together will never end... ]

Caelum gently added emphasis upon the ‘our’ while adding ‘together’ within the verse, to remind Spero’a he would not be alone to face what was inside.

[ From those who’ve fallen to those who will rise—  
A prayer to keep ever by your side... ]

Spero’a had stopped sobbing, reduced to meager sniffles and teary whimpers. Caelum smiled against his hair.

[ An undying promise that we might just...  
carry on in a song. ]

Caelum tapered off into a hum, gently purring the rest of the song from his throat. Spero’a took a deep breath, huddling as much closer as he could to take of Caelum’s warmth and kindness. He was quiet now, only breaking Caelum’s string of hums with the still occasional unexpected sniffle of breath.

Spero’a closed his eyes again, the darkness behind his eyelids no longer frightening. He heaved another deep breath, in and out, before relaxing his body just a bit more. Focusing on the areas of tension and trying to get them to ease. Caelum’s humming in his ear soon lulled him into a full state of safety and he sighed with peace. This would all happen again sometime, whether tomorrow or a month from now... He knew that. Caelum was comforting him in the here and now, though, and would do the same in the future.

That reassuring thought of Caelum... Caelum and his constant presence of light to shine against his darkness... That is what finally lulled Spero’a to sleep again, into a place of happiness and better dreams...


End file.
